


those summer nights

by lavenderthe8



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, and it kind of scares him, falling in love over summer break, inspired by the movie grease, kenma tries to hide his feelings, kuroo is the team captain, kuroo likes kenma, like a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29518764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderthe8/pseuds/lavenderthe8
Summary: Kenma thought that two teenage boys holding hands and running down the streets of Tokyo must have looked atrocious to some, but for the first time in awhile - maybe ever - Kenma didn’t care what they thought. He wanted to run with Kuroo’s hand in his forever, just because Kuroo made him roll his eyes and smile andfeelmore than anyone else made Kenma feel.✾ or ✾Kenma and Kuroo fall in love over the summer, and then school comes around and ruins everything.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	1. chapter one

Summers spent in Japan were always something that Kenma looked forward to. The short months provided a much needed rest after the hours he spent grueling over his schoolwork, and he enjoyed the time without responsibility. The last few weeks of school, Kenma was always restless. He could barely focus on his teachers and the answers to his homework were halfheartedly scribbled down moments before class started. But it didn’t matter to Kenma because the trip to Japan was days away, and in Japan he was far from his teachers and homework and the awkward conversations with his classmates. Kenma loved Japan, sometimes even more than he loved staying up all night playing video games. He was born in Tokyo, but his family moved to the states when he was three. Every summer since then it became sort of a tradition to visit their extended family back home. Kenma spent the days exploring the city with his older cousins, his afternoons and evenings talking with aunts and uncles, and his nights, of course were dedicated to gaming. Although his cousins joined him for that, even if they always ended up losing to Kenma - except in 2K, Kenma hated playing 2K. 

This summer was no different than any other. The second that he stepped off the plane he felt happier than he had in months. After picking up their luggage, Kenma hurriedly followed his parents outside where his uncle was waiting to pick them up. The cool breeze startled Kenma but the moment he saw his ojisan he dashed toward him quickly, careful to avoid the other cars that were waiting outside. 

“Kenma-kun!” Kenma smiled at the greeting. 

Summer break in Japan had finally begun. 

Kenma dozed off a few minutes after they started driving. Something about airports and plane rides made him dreadfully tired - especially when the plane ride took sixteen hours. His eyes fluttered open when his mother lightly tapped him on the shoulder to signal that they had arrived. He yawned and took his time getting out of the car, only to be greeted with a loud shout and the sturdy embrace of his cousin. 

“Let me go!” Kenma shrieked, which only made his cousin grip him harder. 

“How’s my favorite little cousin?” He pushed Kenma away from him to get a better look, and then ruffled his hair affectionately. Kenma scowled, but made no motion to push his hand away. His cousin called out a _“Hey auntie!”_ before throwing an arm around Kenma’s shoulders and leading him toward their apartment. “Hope you're ready, because I have a huge night planned for us. First-“

“No,” Kenma said, shaking his head. “I am tired, and I will not be participating.”

His cousin whined. “But Kenma-kun! I really need you to come with me to this party.” Kenma raised an eyebrow. “Well I want you to come.”

“Why?” Kenma’s tone was level, but it still seemed to make his cousin even more giddy. 

He sighed. “Mom says I can’t go unless I bring you. She thinks I won’t drink so much if you’re around.” 

Kenma chuckled and shook his arm off. “No. Sorry itoko.” His cousin whined again, but before he could ask a second time the apartment door opened and Kenma’s aunt came rushing out to hug him. The night passed quickly, and before Kenma knew it dinner was over and he was being steered out of the door by his cousin. Kato was three years older than him and already a first year in university, but sometimes Kenma wondered if he was the older one. He liked hanging out with his cousin, but more often than not Kato would convince him to do things that ended up getting them into trouble with their mothers (and sometimes the police). 

“Let’s get coffee!” 

Kenma could only hope that this would not turn out to be one of those nights. 

“So, Kenma-kun. How’s America?”

“Sucks,” was all Kenma replied. Kato nodded.

“Yeah, you would be much better here.”

“I wish I could stay here after summer.” Kenma kicked a rock that was sitting on the sidewalk. “Like for school and stuff. I’d like to finish high school in Tokyo.” 

His cousin grinned at that, and then ran ahead to the small convenience store that sat on the corner. Before Kenma even reached the door, Kato came back out carrying two cups of coffee. He handed one to Kenma, who took it gratefully. 

“Party time,” his cousin said.

Kenma huffed. 

_Party time indeed._

✾ 

Forty minutes in and Kenma was ready to go home. Kato had left him around fifteen minutes ago to say hi to a friend and never came back. 

_He's probably in another room somewhere trying to get laid._

It was too loud. The music was blaring, the space was crowded, Kenma’s beer was warm, and he couldn’t even play his Switch because it was back at the apartment buried in one of his bags. 

"I at least hope he gets his dick wet.” 

Kenma was in the corner, watching the couple in front of him grind against each other. He could barely contain his disgust. They weren't even moving in time to the beat. 

“And I’ll be the one who-“

“Are you talking to yourself?” 

Kenma froze. He was in fact talking to himself, but he didn’t think anyone would be able to hear him over the terrible music. 

“And in English too. That’s very impressive.” 

He slowly raised his eyes to peer up at whoever had interrupted him. The kid was tall, much taller than Kenma, and clearly confident with how he presented himself. He was leaning against the wall with one foot on the ground and one foot on the wall behind him. His arms were hanging by his sides, and instead of a drink cup he held a water bottle in one hand. His hair was messy, which was about the only think that looked out of place. Everything else was perfectly composed and put together. To Kenma, it looked like he belonged on the cover of a magazine. Everything about him oozed smugness, from his too tight jeans to his button up shirt. 

Kenma didn’t like him. 

“What’s your name?” The boy still stood there, not even glancing at Kenma as he spoke. They were close enough that Kenma could still hear him over the music, but he pretended not to. He tore his eyes away and went back to watching the same couple from before. Kenma slumped back against the chair in defeat. The boy was still there. Kenma could see him out of the corner of his eye. He was unmoving, unfaltering, yet Kenma could still sense that he was on edge about something. 

_Why can't he just leave me alone like everyone else?_

But the boy finally turned to him, and Kenma tilted his head to look him in the eye. The boy smiled softly, almost shyly, and maybe it was the anger toward his cousin or lack of sleep or the the fact that he wasn't in America anymore, but something made Kenma take a chance. 

"Come outside with me," he said in Japanese. He then stood up quickly, and began to weave his way through the crowd. He didn't have to look back to know that the boy was following him. 

And the boy did follow. 

Kenma sat on the curb with his feet pulled toward his chest. He was shaking. He internally cursed himself for being so nervous. Talking to new people never came easy to Kenma. It was a wonder that he even asked the boy to go with him in the first place. 

"I guess I really am delirious from lack of sleep." 

"Do you speak to yourself often?” The boy sat down on the curb beside him, still clutching the water bottle tightly in his hand, but Kenma could hear the light chuckle in his voice. He still wouldn't turn to Kenma, merely just staring forward with the same intensity he had inside. Kenma rested his chin on his knees, but still did not speak. "Where did you learn English?" The boy tried again to get a response, although he didn't seem to be impatiently waiting for an answer. He actually didn't seem bothered at all that Kenma wasn't talking. 

_Maybe he just wanted some company._

Kenma understood that. Company could be nice sometimes. Being lonely sucked after awhile. 

He guessed it was something about that night. The cool breeze that blew strands of Kenma's hair into his face. The way the boy kept screwing the top off of his water bottle, just to put it back on again. The fact that Kenma couldn't believe someone willingly joined him outside to sit on the sidewalk. And the way that the boy seemed to expect nothing in return besides Kenma's company. 

_I judged him too harshly._

"America." 

The boy's breath hitched, clearly not expecting an answer minutes after he asked the question, but his mood seemed to brighten just a bit. 

"How long have you studied there?" He put down his water bottle and shifted so that he was facing Kenma properly. His legs were too long to be sitting on the ground like that, but he showed no signs of discomfort. In fact, he seemed genuinely interested in what Kenma had to say. It startled Kenma. No one ever wanted to listen to him. 

_Must be really lonely if he wants to talk to me._

But Kenma couldn’t stop the corner of his mouth from twitching ever so slightly. The boy’s presence didn’t make him uncomfortable like so many other people's did. In fact after the initial exchange, Kenma was at ease. 

“I moved there when I was a baby.”

The boy’s eyebrows shot up, and he tilted his head back to let out a laugh. “But you speak Japanese perfectly, I just assumed you were an exchange student.” Kenma shook his head, and held his knees tighter. Despite it being May the air still chilled Kenma a bit. Unfortunately the boy seemed to notice. “Are you cold?” Kenma’s eyebrows furrowed, and the boy laughed again at that. “Hold on.” 

And then Kenma watched him as he stood up to walk back in the door. 

“He got bored.” And even though Kenma tried not to, he still felt a bit sad that the boy left. Kenma sighed and pulled the hood of his jacket up over his head. 

Moments later, he heard the sound of footsteps behind him before another jacket was being wrapped around his shoulders. The action made Kenma tense up in confusion, but then the same boy from before sat back down beside him. He didn't say anything, but his expression softened when he saw Kenma pull the jacket further around him. 

"Thank you," Kenma whispered. 

"Now, in exchange for me being such a gentleman," Kenma scoffed at that, "I want to know your name." 

Kenma turned his head to once again look at the boy. His lips were curled into a sly grin, and his eyebrows kept shooting up and down as he expectantly waited for Kenma's answer. 

"Kenma Koz-er, wait. It's Kozume Kenma." Kenma rolled his eyes at his own mishap, but the boy's smile just grew. "Just call me Kenma."

"I'm Kuroo Tetsurou. And you can call me Tetsurou," he added with a wink. 

"I'm calling you Kuroo." Kenma shook his head and looked away. Damn flirt. Kenma was glad it was so dark out because he knew the blush on his cheeks would be very noticeable had it been the daytime. 

Kuroo tisked and stood up, holding his hand out to Kenma in a dramatic gesture. "Come on an adventure with me Kenma."

He liked the way Kuroo said his name. It was like slicing through warm butter or watching the ice melt after a snowstorm. Completely mesmerizing. He slowly reached his arm out to grab Kuroo's hand. 

_Warm._

Kuroo's hands were warm. But of course Kuroo's hands would be warm. He was the complete opposite from Kenma in every way. He was pretty and confident while Kenma was anxious and closed off. He laughed too loud and too often, and the best part was that he seemed content to just sit and be in Kenma's presence. Of course his hands would be warm and he would give Kenma his jacket, and he would smell like campfire smoke and midnight. And of course he would make Kenma flustered and maybe even a little excited.

So Kenma knew it was best if he were to get as far away from Kuroo as possible. If not he would only end up getting attached and then Kuroo would get bored and leave just like everyone else did. So Kenma decided to be selfish and protect himself. He shook his head slowly and looked down. Kuroo was wearing black Air Forces which Kenma couldn’t help but smile at. He had the same pair in white. 

“I can’t, I have to get home.” Kenma kept his voice level, not letting on how upset he was to leave. 

“Ahh, that’s okay. We can go some other time.” Kenma didn’t mention that this was the last time he would be seeing Kuroo. “Do you want me to walk you back home?” 

_Yes._

“No, I’ll be fine.” Without looking up Kenma turned around and began to walk down the sidewalk alone. Once he was sure that Kuroo had gone back inside, Kenma stole one last glance behind him. Kuroo was standing at the door with his arm around another guy’s shoulders. They both seemed to be laughing together, and Kuroo looked genuinely happy.

Kenma wish he hadn’t looked back.

Making his way through the streets of Tokyo, Kenma found peace in watching the city lights twinkle as he passed by. He threw all memories of Kuroo into the back of his mind, only to be revisited when Kenma allowed himself a moment to wonder _what if?_

That night after Kato had drunkenly found his way back to the apartment and both boys apologized profusely for being out past curfew, Kenma collapsed onto his futon and curled up in the blanket. He was so tired he didn’t even take his clothes off. The events of the night faded away as he began to drift into sleep. 

When Kenma was woken up he swore he had only been asleep for ten minutes. If it was even possible, he felt more tired than before. He groaned and pulled the blanket over his head to shut out the light. 

But that’s the thing, the room was still dark. Kenma sat up and looked around. 

“Hey, Kenma. Sorry about leaving you over there. I was trying to talk to this girl but then I hit this vape pen and I got so distracted I forgot I had even brought you with me.”

“The fuck? What time is it?” His cousin shushed him as Kenma turned over his phone to check the time. 

_12:37. So I really was only asleep for ten minutes._

“It’s fine, can we just go to bed,” Kenma hissed. His cousin grimaced and leaned back like Kenma had burned him. 

“You’re scary when you’re tired.” In response Kenma just flopped back down and pulled the blanket over his head again. He tried to block out the sound of his cousin shuffling around the room, and before he knew it he was once again falling slowly into sleep. The last thing he heard before he drifted off was the tired yawn and questioning from Kato about where he got the “cool track jacket,” but by then Kenma was too exhausted to wonder what he was talking about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahahah so here we go ! i’m literally so excited to be writing this and i hope you all enjoy reading it. thank you so much for reading, and comments / kudos are greatly appreciated


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenma and Kuroo meet for the second time.

When Kenma woke up in the morning he felt much more well rested, although when he checked his phone he realized it was no longer the morning and that he had slept almost fifteen hours. Kato wasn’t in the room, probably long gone to get breakfast - and lunch - since Kenma had missed both. He stretched, sighing in satisfaction when his joints cracked. Kenma began to undress, shrugging the jacket off and pulling his hoodie over his head. Before he got to his sweats however he realized what his cousin must have been babbling about the night before. The red jacket that he had carelessly thrown on the floor didn’t even belong to him. 

“Fuck,” Kenma groaned, pulling on his face. He didn’t even realize he had taken off with it. He picked up the jacket and turned it over. On the back was _Nekoma_ which he assumed was the team’s name. Kenma examined it further and saw Kuroo’s name written on the tag in Kanji, along with a phone number. 

Kenma was not in the mood to deal with this right now. He threw the jacket down again and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. Kuroo and his jacket would just have to wait.

But as hard as Kenma tried to convince himself that he wasn’t, a small part of him was glad that he had a reason to talk to Kuroo again. 

✾ 

“And why does an American have your jacket again?”

“No, Bo. An American does not have my jacket. This kid I met last night took it - and he just so happens to speak English.”

“He stole your jacket?!”

“No-“ 

Kuroo sighed. It was useless trying to explain this to Bokuto.

“Look I’ll have it back by Monday so don’t worry.” Bokuto shrugged and muttered something about Daichi being mad but Kuroo ignored him. In all truth Kuroo was a little nervous that he wouldn’t be getting his jacket back for awhile - or maybe ever - but he prayed to the gods that Kenma would at least call him to return it. 

_Plus he still owes me an adventure._

Kuroo smirked to himself as Bokuto yacked on about ramen after practice. Pictures of Kenma from last night flashed in Kuroo’s mind. His plan couldn’t have gone any better. Once he noticed Kenma shivering like a scared little kitten he couldn’t help but give him his jacket. And even better, Kenma forgot to give it back which meant that they would have to meet up so Kenma could return it. Kuroo couldn't say for sure why he was so intent on seeing Kenma again but he told himself it was because he thought it was cute how Kenma ignored him. 

(He also liked how Kenma blushed and tried hard not to smile when Kuroo spoke, but he decided to put those thoughts aside for another time.) 

Bokuto and Kuroo arrived at Nekoma’s gym door with minutes to spare. They had to take a detour because Bokuto insisted on stopping to pet the dog across the street and before they knew it both boys were sprinting to get to practice on time. Daichi greeted them with a scowl and a quick shout to _“Get moving!”_ before they both were inside. 

“I told you he would be mad,” Bokuto whispered to him as they rushed to put on their gym shoes. Kuroo just waved him away. 

“Captian! I almost thought you weren’t gonna come.” Kuroo glanced up at the voice and broke out into a grin once he saw who was talking. 

“Nah, Chibi Chan I’d miss you too much.”

Hinata snickered at that, but then added in a lower voice, “Daichi-san was getting so mad I thought his head was gonna blow up.” Kuroo watched in amusement as Hinata mimicked how he imagined Daichi’s head would explode.

“Oi! Can we get on with it please?” 

His team was getting restless, so finally Kuroo had to stand up and gather everyone around. “Coach can we work on individual skills today?” His coach looked up from his clipboard and nodded shortly. He trusted Kuroo enough let him run practice by himself which Kuroo was thankful for. He was honestly thankful to be the captain at all. Before the season started, the third years all sat down and talked about who would become their leader for the season and to Kuroo’s amazement they all chose him - Oikawa a little unwillingly but eventually the setter gave up in the end and decided Kuroo would be the best choice. 

“I just know Tobio-chan is gonna go to school here and I can’t honestly say that I will like him. And Iwa-chan says team captains can’t be biased, so there.” 

Iwaizumi come up with some bullshit excuse so Oikawa wouldn't feel bad. Bokuto agreed that he wouldn’t be the best choice either because sometimes he got a little moody during games and he didn’t want to rely on his team to bring him up. Asahi simply did not want the pressure, and in the end it was between him and Daichi. 

“He knows the game and he’s extremely confident with what he can do. I’ve never seen him get down on himself or complain that he should’ve done something differently, which makes him better than the rest of us.” Daichi's words caused the other third years to agree wholeheartedly, and it motivated Kuroo to do the best job he could. 

So Kuroo became the captain and Daichi became his co-captain, and together they would bring the team to victory and win nationals. Or at least that was the goal. 

“Oikawa and the wing spikers. Start doing drills on that side,” Kuroo said, motioning to the other half of the court. “Hinata and Kageyama. Work on the quick attack going the other way. I want Yaku and Noya to receive for them. Lev and Tsukishima, come with me to work on blocking the spikes. And Daichi, try and recieve the ones we miss.” The team gave their respective yells of understanding and ran off to their positions. “We’re only doing this for about thirty minutes so be efficient!” Kuroo clapped his hands together and grinned. With this team, nationals was as good as theirs. 

Saturday practices were always fun, but the team dinner afterward was one of Kuroo’s favorite times of the week. Usually they would all go out for ramen or meat buns, and this week was no exception. Bokuto led the pack of boys toward the ramen place down the street, nearly bouncing up and down with excitement about finally going to eat. Hinata followed him closely, easily matching Bokuto’s energy with each step. 

Kuroo listened to the team's chattering. Many times he liked to be at the center of attention, but there moments like these when felt content to just take in everything around him. That's what made him such a good player. He studied his opponents closely, watching for any sign of weakness and attacking when was it was necessary. But sometimes even when he was off the court Kuroo liked to watch people.

He liked to watch Tsukishima check his phone and immediately text back when he got a new message, sometimes even smiling a bit as he responded. He liked to watch Kageyama stare at Hinata with a scowl, and notice how Hinata was always able to soften his expression with just a smile. He liked to watch the way Lev would laugh at jokes that he didn’t quite understand, and how he would turn to Yaku with a puzzled expression while the other boy would just hide a snicker behind his hand. He liked to watch the way Iwazumi pretended to not care about Oikawa, only to go out of his way to make sure that the setter was feeling good at any given moment. But most of all, Kuroo loved to watch the way Bokuto bounded over to the ramen restaurant when it finally came in to view. 

_He just looks so stupid and happy, I have to take a picture._

So Kuroo whipped out his phone to take a picture, just in time to see an unknown number flash up on the screen. 

_No way..._

Could it really be the boy? Kenma Kozume from America with the attitude and pretty hair? Kuroo nearly dropped the phone in haste to answer it, getting a frown from Daichi before he finally pressed the phone to his ear. 

“Hello?”

“Kuroo?” the other voice rang out. It was muffled over the phone and whispered by the boy on the other line, but Kuroo broke out into a grin anyway.

“Kenma!” By now a few of his teammates were watching him closely, snickering between each other like a bunch of schoolgirls that were witnessing the latest gossip. Kuroo waved his free hand at all of them and sped up to find Bokuto who was already inside the doors. “What’s up? Couldn’t get enough of me last night, huh. Well, you’re in luck, because I miss you too.” He was met with silence on the other line. “Kenma, my dear-“

“I just want to give your jacket back.”

“Oh wonderful.” Kuroo walked toward the back table where Bokuto was sitting and plopped down next to him. 

_“Who is that?”_ Bokuto mouthed. 

_“Jacket,”_ Kuroo mouthed back. 

“Where do you live so I can drop it off.” 

“It’s okay, I can come get it from you. It’s my jacket after all.” Silence again, until finally a sigh came through from the other line. “Kenma have you eaten yet?” The rest of the team came and sat around the table. Oikawa sat next to him and tried to pry his arm away to see who he was on the phone with. 

“No.” Kuroo clicked his tongue. 

“Where are you staying?” 

“Kuroo, why-“

“Just tell me where you’re staying.” Kuroo purred into the phone. “Kenma,” he added, just for extra effect. 

“Kenma?” Oikawa questioned. Kuroo shushed him. 

“I’m off of Showa and Azuma.” 

“Showa and Azuma?” Kuroo said to himself. “Showa and Azuma?” He looked around at his teammates to see if they could help.

“Couple blocks that way,” Iwazumi said, pointing toward their left. Daichi nodded in agreement. 

“Kenma I’m coming to get you and I’m taking you out for ramen.” 

"No." 

But Kuroo was already standing up and gathering his things, ignoring the questions from his teammates. 

"Meet me at the cross street in ten minutes," he said, hanging up before Kenma could have another chance to protest. 

"Where are you going?" Bokuto whined. Kuroo sidestepped the waitress who came around to take everyone's order. 

"I'll be back probably. And if I'm not." Kuroo threw down a few bills and walked to the front doors of the restaurant. A couple of the underclassmen yelled goodbye but Kuroo barely turned back to give them a wave. His thoughts were muddled with Kenma and only Kenma. 

✾ 

“No,” Kenma said to no one in particular as he set the phone down. 

“No,” he said again moments later when he collected the jacket from where he threw it down earlier. 

“No,” he whispered as he checked his reflection in the mirror, slapping his cheeks as the faint blush began to spread across his face. 

“I can’t do this,” he said as he rode down in the elevator, two minutes before he was supposed to meet with Kuroo. 

To say that he was nervous would be a complete understatement. He felt too hot and too cold all at once, and on top of that Kenma was convinced that he was going to throw up. Not many people were in the apartment lobby, so no one gave him a strange look when he braced himself on the wall and tried to steady his breathing. After he finally worked up the courage to go outside, Kenma slowly walked over to the door, clutched the jacket in one hand and checking his phone with the other. He nodded his head to the security guard, thanking her when she opened the door for him. Kenma held his breath. 

But Kuroo wasn’t there. Kenma breathed a sigh of relief for the extra minutes he had to ready himself. He leaded against the building and buried his face in his phone. 

It didn’t take long for Kuroo to show up. Kenma noticed his shoes first, the same black Air Forces from last night that came to a stop right in front of him. 

“Kenma,” Kuroo said in his smooth tone. Kenma fought back the urge to roll his eyes. He tilted his head back to take in Kuroo's figure. 

He looked different from the night before. Last night he looked peaceful. Maybe even somber. But now a cocky grin was settled on his face and it just looked so fitting that Kenma wondered how last night he had looked so lonely. 

Kuroo cocked his head and leaned forward. "I missed you, Kozume Kenma.”

This time Kenma did roll his eyes. "Here," he said, thrusting the jacket at Kuroo's chest. Kuroo snorted and grabbed it from him. 

"Sure you won't need it, kitten? You might get cold again tonight." 

"Kitten?!" Kenma shrieked. A lady walking past gave them a very irritated look, although she seemed to be glaring mostly at Kuroo and his manic laughter. "Obnoxious," Kenma spat. "Never call me that again." Kuroo didn't even seem to hear him. He dropped his gym bag and doubled over, clutching at his stomach and wheezing like some sort of crazed animal. 

"Ahh, it hurts," he said between gasps. "Make it stop." 

Kenma began to smile. "Kuroo." Kuroo glanced up from beneath his hair, trying to quiet down upon hearing his own name. They both were silent for a moment, but then Kuroo snorted again and Kenma began to chuckle and before they knew it both boys were grasping on to each other and gasping for air because they were laughing so hard. 

Finally they were able to breathe properly and Kuroo could stand up without having to double over again in fake agony. 

“Stupid,” Kenma said. 

Kuroo wrapped an arm around his shoulders and began to lead them down the street, and if Kenma began to lean into Kuroo’s figure, neither boy mentioned it.

“What time do you have to be home?” Kuroo asked him. Kenma half expected Kuroo to drop his arm, but instead he just matched their steps together.

“I don’t really know.” Kenma was staring down at the ground. “I never told them I was leaving.” 

“What?” Kuroo halted so suddenly that Kenma yelped in surprise when he was pulled back by the hood of his jacket. “Kenma what if I kidnap you and they have no idea where you’ve gone?”

Without hesitation Kenma stated, "You don't have the balls to kidnap me." He then crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow. 

Kuroo gaped down at him. "I'll kidnap you right now then." 

And just like the night before, Kuroo held out his hand to Kenma. It was an extension, an invitation to follow Kuroo willingly into the passing day. And for a moment the same apprehension from the night before passed through Kenma's mind. But without giving it a second thought he pushed the feeling aside and grabbed on to Kuroo's hand. And this time he didn't let go. 

And when Kuroo's head tilted down to look at him, Kenma gave a soft smile. 

"Let me take you that adventure." 

And Kenma thought that two teenage boys holding hands and running down the streets of Tokyo must have looked atrocious to some, but for the first time in awhile - maybe ever - Kenma didn't care what they thought. 

And he realized that being selfish wasn't running away from Kuroo to protect himself. Running away was cowardly. Being selfish was wanting stay here and run with Kuroo's hand in his forever. So maybe Kenma did want to be selfish, just because Kuroo made him roll his eyes and smile and feel more than anyone else made Kenma feel. 

And as his legs began to numb and his lungs began to burn, he grinned up at Kuroo and shouted, "You know it's not kidnapping if I go with you willingly, right?" And to that Kuroo just snorted and ran faster, not once letting go of Kenma's hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoop! so i have finals this week and i’m stressed out, but i wanted to try and get a chapter out before my tests!
> 
> ahh and as always thank you for reading. comments / kudos are so appreciated. i hope you're all doing well and that you're trying to take care of yourselves <3


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vampires and werewolves and full moons

They only stopped when Kenma physically could not run anymore. They ended up in some park, and forgetting his dignity, Kenma collapsed on to the ground and panted into the grass. He could hear Kuroo’s laughter from above him, and in response he jutted out his heel to kick Kuroo in the shin. 

“Shut up,” he said between gasps. Kenma didn’t exercise much, and when he did it was mainly just to walk around his neighborhood and avoid doing his homework. He definitely never _ran_ , and he could tell that it showed. Kenma was almost embarrassed by his current state, sprawled out on his back and clutching at his chest in fear of his throbbing heart leaping out into his hands. Kuroo just stood with his smirk in place, seemingly unaffected by their sprint through the city. Kenma huffed and finally sat up. “Next time you better bring a bike or something because I am not doing that again.”

Kuroo chuckled and pulled Kenma up by the arm. "Next time, huh?" Kenma's eyes widened, and he turned around completely before Kuroo could see the beginnings of the blush on his cheeks. "Well next time I'll be sure to compromise." 

Kuroo began to walk on the path in front of Kenma, and without any other real option Kenma followed. The sun was setting quickly, casting shadows on them as they made their way around the park. Kenma didn't know what to say - or if he should even be saying anything, so he kept quiet and tried not to seem like he was thinking so hard. But of course Kuroo noticed his unease and bumped his elbow into Kenma's arm lightly. 

"What's up?" 

"Nothing,” he said, shaking his head lightly. “It's just weird being here with you." 

_What does that even mean?_

"I don't know. Nevermind, I don't even know what I'm trying to say." He attempted to end it with a smile but it came out more like a grimace. Kuroo's expression had faded into something like a concerned frown, and Kenma felt bad that he was the cause of it. 

"We can go back if you want. I didn't mean to-" 

"No, please. I want to stay." Kuroo didn’t look convinced, so Kenma grabbed at the sleeve of Kuroo's jacket and nodded. 

Kuroo just blinked down at him. Kenma felt so small under his gaze, like Kuroo could figure out all of his secrets just by looking at him. It took all his willpower to not break eye contact. 

"So what is it then?" Kuroo asked, with just the slightest hint of amusement in his voice. 

_What do I tell him? That I have no friends? That I never leave my house? That I've never done this with anyone before and I'm scared._

_But that's just it, right? I'm scared. I'm scared because it's been one day and I can't push him away. I'm scared because when his arm was around me I didn't want to cringe. I'm scared because when he says my name so melodically I cant help but wonder what it would sound like to hear him chant it repeatedly with my legs wrapped around his hips and my nails clawing at his back and_ \- 

Kenma forced the image down before it could cause his body to react more than it already had. Kuroo narowed his eyes like he had known exactly what Kenma was thinking, and once again Kenma felt like he was shrinking. 

Finally after what felt like minutes, Kuroo spoke. "You don't have to talk, you know. I could practically hear your thoughts out loud." Kenma flushed and hoped to god that wasn't the truth. "Last night, too. It was like you were thinking so hard that you almost forgot I was here, next to you," he poked Kenma in the chest. "But I'm here, and if you don't want to talk then I'll talk. And whenever you're ready, even if it takes weeks, I'll still be here."

“But why?” Kenma couldn’t help but ask. He thought it was only fair in case Kuroo actually was a kidnapper or a serial killer or something crazy like that. 

Kuroo smiled. Kenma stared. Kuroo smiled wider and then threw his head back and laughed. 

“What?” Kenma sputtered. 

“You really don’t get it?” Kenma crossed his arms over his chest. Clearly, he didn’t get it. “It’s because I like you,” Kuroo said, shaking him by the shoulders.

“Y-You. You what?” Kenma yelled out, gaping at Kuroo.

Kuroo laughed again, much to Kenma’s annoyance, although he couldn’t shake away the feeling of disbelief. Kuroo actually liked him?

“Not like that. You’re cute, but unfortunately I don’t swing that way.” He winked, and Kenma tried not to feel too disappointed. 

_Of course he doesn’t like you. He’s not even into boys._

So putting on his best neutral expression, Kenma said. “I don’t either.” Kuroo nodded. “Swing that way, I mean,” he added, hoping that Kuroo would believe him. Kuroo seemed to accept it, and they began to walk again. 

The sun was mostly set by now. The last rays of light were slowly dipping below the horizon, leaving the park to glow under the moonlight. 

_It’s a full moon._

Kenma liked the sky for a number of reasons. 

Number One: It reminded him that he was small and insignificant in comparison to the wonders of the stars.  
Number Two: Occasionally snow fell from the sky, and Kenma desperately loved the snow.  
Number Three (Which Was Now Kenma’s Favorite Reason): Kuroo looked stunning in the moonlight. 

The sky was kind to Kuroo. The curve of his jaw and the dip of his collarbone were emphasized by the shadows thrown across his face. When he smiled, his teeth seemed to be glowing - blinding almost, and Kenma was in fear that if he stared too long he would go blind under their radiance. His hair was nearly hidden in the darkness, only being highlighted when the moon’s glow hit it perfectly. He appeared to enjoy the night as much as Kenma did, although he seemed more alive now then he was just hours before. 

It was his eyes that gave it away. They were sharp, endlessly scanning the scenery around him and yet always sweeping back to Kenma’s face. In the daytime his eyes flickered when they caught the sun, but now Kenma saw their true beauty. Instead of flickering they shone beautifully under the night sky, illuminated by the stars. 

And Kenma decided he liked the sky for one more reason.

When Kuroo stopped walking to stare above him, Kenma was sure that the entire galaxy was reflected in his eyes.

 _Beautiful._

He really was beautiful. 

“What is it?”

Unfortunately Kenma could not stare all night. 

“The moon,” Kenma said quickly, pointing at the sky behind Kuroo, who followed Kenma’s arm and smiled. “Werewolves are out tonight.” 

_What the fuck did I just say?_

Kuroo whipped around with a strange expression on his face, something mixed between disbelief and amazement.

“Werewolves?” 

“Uhh, y-yeah. And vampires,” Kenma added, trailing off at the end of his sentence. 

_What am I taking about? Just shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut_ \- 

“Yeah. Let’s go vampire hunting.” Kuroo rubbed his hands together and began to search around them as if he were going to spot a monster in the darkness. For once he looked completely serious, and if Kenma didn't know any better he would think that Kuroo was making fun of him. Although somehow he knew that Kuroo would never deliberately make fun of him. Kuroo seemed intimidating but under all of the charm and beauty was still just a boy. 

A boy who told Kenma he was drowning under the pressure of maintaining his studies. A boy who said he was terrified to go to university because he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. A boy who claimed he never wanted to disappoint his mother, so he dated pretty girls and brought them home even if he hated them. He was a boy who was struggling to figure himself out. 

Kuroo needed a distraction. So Kenma decided that if he wanted to go vampire hunting, then Kenma would take him vampire hunting. 

He began to search the ground, standing triumphantly when he picked up two small branches. 

“Weapons. Good thinking,” Kuroo hummed, reaching out to grab one from Kenma’s hand. 

“Wait.” Kenma turned away from Kuroo. “We have to bless them.” Looking around again, he found a small pond to dip their makeshift stakes into. “Father, Son... and Amen, or something.” Kuroo snorted and grabbed a stick out of Kenma’s hand. 

“Now what, Kenma the vampire slayer?”

“We need a plan. That part’s up to you.” 

In the end, neither boy was able to catch a vampire. The plan was to have Kenma act as the lookout while Kuroo ran ahead to search for clues, which only allowed Kuroo to loop around and scare Kenma when he wasn’t paying attention. After that Kenma chased him halfway around the park before Kuroo realized he dropped his gym bag somewhere along the way, which resulted in both boys searching the area until they found it. 

“I got it!” Kuroo said, jogging over to Kenma minutes later with his bag now strapped across his chest. “So what now?”

 _What now?_

Kenma turned on his phone for the first time since he had left the apartment. His mother had called twice, his dad had texted a simple “Where are you?” and Kato had FaceTimed him six times in the past hour. It could’ve been worse. In fact, it could have been a lot worse, so Kenma didn’t feel bad when he tucked his phone back into the pocket of his hoodie and thought about what to do next. 

“We could head back to my place if you want,” Kuroo said, pursing his lips in thought. “Or there’s this really cool shop by your apartment. We could head over there?” Kenma nodded. He really didn’t care what they did. “Or -“ 

He was interrupted by the low rumbling sound coming from his own stomach. 

“Shit, I forgot to feed you,” he said to Kenma. 

“Fuck off, you’re the one that’s hungry.”

“Yeah, but I promised you ramen,” Kuroo said with a pout. “Want to get some right now?”

“It’s fine, Kuroo. I’m not that hungry.” Kuroo huffed and poked Kenma’s forehead lightly. Kenma went to push his hand away but his pocket stated vibrating, so he cursed and grabbed his phone instead. 

“Hello?” He answered, trying to keep his voice as level as possible. The yelling started instantly, and he held his phone away from his ear until his mother stoped shrieking. Kuroo’s eyes went wide with concern. 

“Where are you? You can’t just wander off like that! This is Tokyo, not the -“

“Mom, I’m fine. I just went for a walk.”

His mother’s voice still rang through the speakers, but it was losing the ferocity, calming down now that her son had finally answered the phone. 

“Yes... Yes I’m fine... I know, I’m sorry... Okay, bye.” Kenma hung up. She wasn’t as mad as he thought she would be, mainly just upset that he left without saying goodbye. _“And answer your damn phone next time!”_ She had said to him. Kenma promised to do so, and she had let him go. 

Kuroo was shifting his weight back and forth between his feet, clutching his fists together and frowning in concern. 

“I’m sorry!” He cried the moment Kenma hung up the phone. “Are you in trouble? I’ll go and apologize to your parents and say it was all my fault.”

Kenma shook his head. “I’m not in trouble, don’t worry.” Kuroo sighed and seemed to relax a bit, but Kenma internally grimaced over what he had to say next. “But I have to go back.”

He didn’t want to leave. One night with Kuroo was not enough. Kenma wanted to spend more time, more days, more nights under the stars with him, but unfortunately he had obligations to his family.

Kuroo insisted on walking him back, so the two boys gathered their belongings and set off into the night. It was a slight surprise when Kuroo settled his arm around Kenma again. His touch was light, almost hesitant, as if he were asking permission to touch. If it were anyone else Kenma wouldn’t have a problem pushing them away and distancing himself, but Kuroo wasn’t like everyone else. He settled into Kuroo’s side, and the arm relaxed around him. It felt natural like this, pressed up against Kuroo and elbowing him when he made a stupid joke, laughing together like they had known each other for years. 

The moment they reached the apartment complex, Kenma’s heart sunk. Kuroo’s arm fell away from his shoulders, leaving him feeling completely exposed in the night. 

_Pathetic. You’ve already become so dependent on him. You deserve to feel like shit when he leaves._

“I can hear you thinking again." Kuroo’s voice came out smooth, just like always. Kenma turned his head away. “You’re on summer break, right?” Kenma nodded. He wondered if his mother was in the lobby waiting for him. “Lucky. I don’t start until July.” Kenma finally turned back to Kuroo. “When do you go back to America?” 

Kenma sighed. “Middle of August, usually.” 

Kuroo was silent for a moment. Kenma really hoped his mom wasn't waiting inside. 

"Hey uhh..." Kuroo cleared his throat. He seemed nervous. "Tomorrow's Sunday and I don't have practice. You maybe wanna do something?" 

Kenma just stared. He must not have heard Kuroo correctly. “What?”

Kuroo brought a hand up to scratch the back of his neck. “Want to get lunch with me tomorrow?”

“Oh, sure.” 

That seemed to be an acceptable answer to Kuroo, because he smiled and poked Kenma’s chest. “Cool! I’ll call you before I come by." Kuroo winked and motioned to the door. "Go on before you get in trouble."

"Yeah, okay." Kenma heard Kuroo snicker as he turned and walked inside. 

His mother was waiting for him in the lobby. The moment she saw him she began to chew him out, telling him how irresponsible it was for him to just wander off alone. Kenma nodded, not really comprehending and not really caring about anything she was saying. His mind was still focused on Kuroo. 

_Kuroo wants to see me again. He's coming by tomorrow. Ohfuckohfuckohfuck..._

Kenma knew this was dangerous. Falling for a straight guy was the number one rule to not break, but he couldn't help it. 

_It's just for the summer anyway. Not like I'll ever see him again after August, so I'm bound to be heartbroken either way._

Kenma knew it would end badly. 

But he couldn't think about that now. 

Because he had a date (not a date) with Kuroo tomorrow. Nothing could make him upset now. 

"Kenma, go to bed. Absolutely no games tonight."

Except for maybe that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who liked that galaxy is endless reference (;
> 
> okay but this is a mess,,, but like i kinda love it. 
> 
> thank you to all who read / leave kudos and comments. i appreciate you all !!


	4. chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> summer is almost over, and kenma cries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okayyy so just a bit of underage drinking in this chapter, and some hints at homophobia / internalized homophobia. nothing huge, but both are mentioned !

As a child, and even an early teenager, Kenma was dead set on being an architect. He didn’t know why. He didn’t really think that architecture was all that interesting, but for some reason whenever someone asked him _“What do you want to be when you grow up?”_ always firmly stated “An architect.” 

It was around his freshman year that Kenma realized that no, he did not want to be an architect. Architecture was interesting - maybe - and Kenma thought that it was a good profession - not really - but he would be much better suited to something else - which was another way of saying that he never fucking wanted to design buildings ever. 

Now when people asked him what he wanted to do, which instead was phrased like _“What are you going to do?”_ because for some reason it was a requirement that he planned years ahead of time, Kenma shrugged and said “I don’t know.” Most people smiled and said that he still had a lot of time to figure it out. Although his family was not most people.

“What do you mean ‘You don’t know’? University is in two years. You have to figure it out soon. Are you keeping up with your studies?”

“Yes,” Kenma drawled out. 

His aunt scowled at him. This was not Kato’s mother, but instead a different aunt that Kenma didn’t really know how he was related to. There’d been multiple conversations like this tonight, with distant family members coming up to him and pestering him about his plans for the future. Kenma had a vague idea for the years ahead but it was nothing concrete. Some days he wanted to go to college and some days he just didn’t. As long as he was making money, who cared if he had a degree or not. 

Oh wait, he knew who cared. 

“You need to be like Kato-kun. He’s a good boy. He doesn’t go out, he doesn’t party.” Kenma nearly interjected, and said that Kato absolutely went out and partied, but instead he bit his tongue. 

_Just two more hours. Two more hours and I’m allowed to leave._

Finally his mother came over and offered another drink to Kenma’s aunt, knowingly giving Kenma a chance to escape. Kenma silently thanked her and ducked away before anyone else could weight in on his life choices. 

He found Kato in the kitchen trying to sneak some sake into his water bottle. His cousin grinned when he noticed Kenma in the doorway, and waved him over to block the view. 

“I don’t know how you always get me involved in your bullshit.”

“Wrong place, wrong time?” Kato offered. Kenma shrugged. “You going out tonight?” he asked once he had successfully filled the bottle. Kenma checked his phone. No new texts from Kuroo, so Kenma assumed their plans were still on. 

“Yeah, Kuroo apparently bought some fireworks so he’s taking me to go light them off.” Kato hummed. “You want to come with?”

“What? No, I don’t want to impose.”

“It’s just fireworks. You wouldn’t be imposing.” Kato snorted. It took all Kenma’s strength to not snap at Kato. His patience had worn away hours ago, although his cousin either didn’t notice or didn’t mind. Instead he hoisted himself up to sit on the counter (something his mother would not approve of) and sipped from his bottle (another thing his mother would not approve of).

“Auntie thinks you’re dating him. Your mom, that is.” Kenma’s breath hitched, and he attempted to cover it up with a cough before Kato had a chance to point it out. 

“Well we’re not. We aren’t. He doesn’t like me.”

Kato snorted again and slid down from the counter. “He obviously likes you. He’s spent practically every day with you since he went on break.” 

That was true. Kato was exaggerating a bit, but there was no doubt to his statement. Kuroo and Kenma were now friends (best friends?) that hung out at least four times a week. Not that Kenma was counting and or averaging the amount of days they spent together, but still. They did fun things, although completely _friendly_ things, which was something Kenma had to remind himself about often. 

_Kuroo does not like boys, Kuroo does not like boys, Kuroo does not like boys..._

Over and over and over again until Kenma understood. If Kuroo reached out to tuck Kenma’s hair behind his ear, it was just because he needed practice for his next girlfriend. If he texted Kenma at four in the morning to _“Go to sleep”_ it was just because he didn’t want Kenma to be exhausted and irritated the next day. If his outrageous smirk softened into a contented smile when he thought Kenma wasn’t looking, it was just because his face was tired. If he still grabbed Kenma’s hand and poked his forehead and threw an arm around his shoulders it was just because Kuroo had no boundaries. 

And if Kuroo’s gaze hadn’t landed on Kenma’s lips that night, then maybe Kenma would have an easier time convincing himself of those things.

It was about a two weeks ago when Kenma and Kuroo had gone out for kakigori. Kenma didn’t like the lemon flavor, and even though he tried to pretend he did, Kuroo switched with him anyway. Some kid bumped into Kuroo and he dropped the bowl right on his Air Forces. Kenma laughed, and Kuroo tried to scold him, but then he began to laugh too. They ended up sharing the last bowl of kakigori, sitting on a park bench and watching some man try to teach his dog to sit for an hour. They sat like that for awhile, long after the man had left and the sun had set. 

“Kenma,” Kuroo had whispered. It was so small, so tiny and quiet and _scared_ that Kenma didn’t want to look. But he did. And then Kuroo’s face was close. So close. Their noses were close to brushing, Kenma’s face tilted up with wide eyes and Kuroo’s tilted down, the same frightened expression mirrored on his own face. Kuroo leaned in, or maybe Kenma leaned in, and then in an instant Kuroo pulled back. He slid away from Kenma and sat on the opposite side of the bench. 

They went back soon after that, atmosphere tense around them. Kuroo walked with his eyes down and distance between them. Kenma tried not to notice. 

That night Kenma had cried himself to sleep, silently, under the blanket of his cousin’s futon. There was no goodnight text from Kuroo. Kenma desperately tried to hold back his sobs. 

But the next morning Kuroo was in his aunt’s kitchen, chatting with the adults and waiting for Kenma to get up so he could take him to breakfast.

Kuroo acted like normal, so Kenma did the same. Neither mentioned that night again. 

Kuroo was straight. Or just confused, but he was definitely straight. Kuroo just needed to clarify that, and he used Kenma as his experiment. It broke Kenma’s heart, and he knew that what Kuroo did was unforgivable. He had been leading Kenma on, and he still wasn’t stopping. 

But Kenma decided that he was a masochist, because he would rather live in heartache with Kuroo than to live in loneliness without Kuroo. 

Although the loneliness without Kuroo was coming soon. Today was the twenty-first of August. His flight left on the twenty-fifth. Kuroo still did not know. Kenma was pretending to forget. 

But his life back in America was waiting. 

It made Kenma miserable just thinking about it. 

Kato handed his water bottle over to Kenma, who took a drink and passed it back. They hid in the kitchen for awhile, passing the bottle to each other and talking about nothing important. It was only after the bottle had finished that Kenma was feeling brave enough to mention Kuroo.

“He almost kissed me, I think.” Kato stopped talking to look at Kenma. “I think I love him. But I also think I hate him.” Kenma sighed and shook his head. All too quickly he felt like he was drowning. He tried to swallow down the lump in his throat, but it forced it’s way out and shook Kenma’s shoulders with a sob. He heard his cousin gasp in surprise. 

“Kenma,” Kato said slowly. Kenma tried to turn away from him, but his cousin grabbed his arms and kept him in place. 

“This is so embarrassing,” Kenma choked over his cries, hiding his face in his hands. It wasn’t the first time Kato had seen him cry. Just the other night Kenma had cried when had finally managed to move on to the next stage in his game and Kato had laughed at him for hours afterward, but he had never cried about something real in front of Kato. He blamed it on the sake.

It didn’t take long before Kenma had calmed down. Kato was obviously concerned, but he forced out a laugh anyway and said “Never knew you were an emotional drunk.” Kenma huffed and pushed his cousin away. Kato wasn’t the type of person to ask questions or give pity, and for that Kenma was thankful. He felt better now. Exhausted, but better. “I don’t think you should go tonight.” Kenma had been thinking the same thing, but it was almost time to leave and Kuroo was probably on his way over. He couldn’t just stand Kuroo up, especially because he would be suspicious. Kuroo always just seemed to know when something was wrong. He didn’t miss a thing, and if Kenma were to call him now and say something came up, he knew Kuroo wouldn’t believe him. 

But he didn’t want to go. He had been ignoring how hurt he actually was, but what Kuroo did was fucked up. Kenma deserved an explanation. He needed an explanation. 

Kato asked what he was doing when Kenma opened the liquor cabinet and took another gulp of the sake. Kenma protested when Kato wrestled the bottle from his hands, but he let his cousin take it anyway. The haze was back, and once again Kenma felt like he was floating. 

“Stupid idiot, you’re drunk.”  
“Not drunk.” Kenma shook his head, and he giggled when the room seemed to shake with him. “Just a little bit drunk.” 

“Right.” Kato sounded mad, but Kenma didn’t care. 

“I’m going out to see Kuroo. And then I’m going to ask him what’s wrong with him.” 

Surprisingly, Kato didn’t protest. Instead he led Kenma through the sea of family members and down to the apartment lobby. Now when Kenma whipped his head around, the walls barely moved with him. He was coming down, his drunken state fading away but still leaving a trace of confidence. They wordlessly waited for Kuroo to arrive at the doors. 

Once the security guard let Kuroo inside, Kato turned around and went back upstairs, leaving Kenma alone. 

_I can’t actually do this right? I can’t ask him about that night. He might hate me._

Kenma’s heart was beating so quickly, he though he was going to have a heart attack. Kuroo was grinning, walking swiftly across the room to where Kenma stood in front of the elevator. 

_I can’t._

Kuroo stopped in front of him and winked, reaching out to twist Kenma’s bangs around his finger, and in that second all Kenma could feel was anger. He pushed Kuroo away and stormed outside. He didn’t stop walking, not even when Kuroo grabbed his arm and asked what was wrong. 

“Kenma? Kenma, what happened?” Kuroo was practically yelling now, worry laced in his voice, but his words just fueled Kenma’s fury. “Please, just-“

“Shut up!” He rounded on Kuroo and pulled him down by his jacket. Kuroo’s eyes were wide with surprise. 

“Wha-“ he began to ask, but Kenma cut him off.

“You knew. You knew I liked you and you made me think I had a chance.” He was snarling. His voice was low and dangerous, and it sounded foreign even to Kenma’s own ears.

“Kenma-“

“And then you tried to kiss me, and like some fucking douchebag _you_ pulled away!” 

A woman gasped behind Kenma, and he spun around to tell her to shut up, but Kuroo dragged him away before he could get the words out. 

“Not here. Not in the open,” Kuroo whispered. His head was ducked low, hiding his face from the people that walked by. Kenma nearly laughed at him. Kuroo wasn’t confident. He was a coward, even more so than Kenma. 

Kuroo was pulling him into an alley, and Kenma tried to shake off his grip but Kuroo only held on tighter. 

“You’re gay aren’t you,” Kenma spat out once they were sheltered between the two buildings. Kuroo cringed when the word came out of Kenma’s mouth. Kenma shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t fucking believe you.”

Kuroo ducked his head down in shame. “I can’t be like that here. I know it’s different than where you come from, but I can’t be like that.” _Like that_ Like it was a fucking disease. 

“What the fuck do you mean?”

Kuroo’s head snapped back up, and he looked just as angry as Kenma felt. Kenma almost wanted to apologize, but he was in too deep now. They were having the conversation that could have been avoided if Kenma had thought before he snapped at Kuroo. 

_Blame it on the sake._

“How do you think my parents will feel? I need to be perfect. Perfect! I need to get good grades and go to university and get a good job and find a perfect little wife so I don’t let them down.” 

And that night under the moon came rushing back to Kenma. The pressure on Kuroo was immense. His family had expectations for him. Kuroo had probably been told from a young age that boys can be friends and nothing more. Kenma was fortunate enough to have parents that accepted him, but he was no stranger to losing friends because of who he was. In the end though, he always had his mother and father to go back to. Kuroo didn’t have that support. 

“I’m sorry Kuro.” He felt awful. He was being completely insensitive. He knew Kuroo liked him from the very night they met, but Kenma never wanted to take a chance and admit that to himself. All the touches, the brushing up against each other, the winks and the smiles and the joking around and Kenma still didn’t want to believe it. But he wasn’t stupid. He knew Kuroo liked him, even before they were sitting on a park bench and sharing kakigori. He just never tried to understand where Kuroo was coming from. Japan tolerated same sex couples, but Kuroo had still probably witnessed or experienced some sort of discrimination that made him scared to take the next step. 

Kuroo stepped forward, and for a moment Kenma thought Kuroo would walk right past him, but instead he threw his arms around Kenma and hugged him. 

“Don’t apologize. I fucked up.” He let out a shaky breath, and Kenma slowly slinked his arms around to hug Kuroo back. “I really do like you.”

They couldn’t do this. Kenma left in four days. 

“I like you too.”

But he couldn’t stop himself from holding on tighter and burying his face in Kuroo’s chest. Kuroo sighed and rested his chin on the top of Kenma’s head. 

“I never wanted to hurt you.”

Kenma breathed in Kuroo’s scent. “I know.” 

“You leave soon, don’t you?” Kenma nodded. “Your parents told me the other day.”

Finally Kenma pulled away. “I’m sorry for not telling you.” Kuroo wasn’t mad. He used his hand to tilt Kenma’s chin up and look at him. 

“Still wanna go light off fireworks with me?”

“Only if you brought sparklers.” 

Kuroo rolled his eyes and motioned to his backpack. “Of course I brought sparklers.”

“Were you drinking sake?” Kuroo asked when they were out of the alley. Kenma snorted and said that of course he hadn’t been drinking sake, and that it was ridiculous to even think that he was. Kuroo just smirked at him.

Kuroo put an arm around Kenma’s shoulders while they walked. Nothing really changed, except for when no one was around, Kuroo would lean down and kiss the top of Kenma’s head. 

It made Kenma blush profusely every time, but Kuroo insisted that it was cute. 

Kuroo was still scared, and Kenma was still upset, but there was no point in spending their last days fighting. All Kenma really cared about was knowing that Kuroo liked him. 

Kuroo liked him. 

Kenma smiled to himself and leaned into Kuroo, who squeezed him tighter. 

Kenma hated himself for falling in love with someone who lived on the opposite side of the world, but later that night when Kuroo burned his hand with a bottle rocket and whined at Kenma for help, he hated himself just a little less. 

Things would be okay.

“Kyanma, it hurts!”

Yeah, things would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my goodness okay i worked so hard today to get this out and i think it’s a bit rushed at the end but i’ve also read it over about seven times so it might just be because i know what’s coming,,, anywaysss,,,, i also thought a lot about when i wanted them to have their first kiss, but i decided that kuroo is still coming to terms with himself, so a kiss in this chapter would have been too forced. (but no worries, because it will come eventually) 
> 
> as always i appreciate you all. my motivation comes from you guys so thank you <3


End file.
